Tuesday, October 20, 2009
We are truly blessed. More about the process of empowerment and Master Minding in a future blog.
Blissfully signing off,
with deepest gratitude and blessings!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Well, that's the very short synopsis of this week's struggle. I do know that I've got loads more brain synapses firing now than I did a few months ago when I exuberantly signed up for:
Introduction to Philosophy, Philosophy of Religion, Philosophy of Mind, and Psychology of Personality. (Read FOUR heavy duty, lots of reading and writing, classes!!) I'm doing quite well in the first three, all philosophy classes, due mainly because the professors love to teach and truly want their students to learn.
Psych of Personality is to the far extreme, taught by a not-so-popular professor who seems tired of his subject, doesn't seem to have any current information, and who seems to enjoy tricking his students with DMV-like true-false test questions. (Throw in one tiny word that changes a long, complex sentence/concept.... just to trick us.) I am ashamed to say my first test lotted me a 58%! All my seat mates were in the same range.... but I'm going to school for me.... NOT to regurgitate rote memorization. I truly want to understand concepts, implications to current situations, and relevance to life.... not get tricked up by an erroneous date in the middle of a very complex theory.
So... talked with the academic counselor and I'm retreating with out shame! Done with Psych of Personality... sounds like a great subject... but will be open for a much more inspiring prof!
With that said.... I'm really, REALLY loving my Philosophy classes. I'm needing to close in on my "Major" and what I want to persue after this....
lots of ideas.... more I'll explore in later posts.
Much love to anyone who reads this. I really appreciate your comments.
Friday, October 9, 2009
And I'm learning how to learn. I always felt (and was told) that I have only "normal" intelligence. Plus, I was told I wasn't college material, way back when I liked boys more than history or algebra. Several times in my life I've dipped into the college offerings, taking gerontology/social work classes in the 70's, and anthropology/art classes in the late 80's. And, well, I did complete my "Masters" in metaphysics via distant learning.... but I don't count that as serious learning since it's not an accredited program, and was way too easy.
This time in my life... it's a whole new thing. I am so turned on by learning! Each day, my mind creates new ideas about what to learn about next... and how I might use that in the world. I have the idea that by the time I'm 70 I will have increased my IQ, plus be ready to start a whole new vocation.... I like the concept of "Creative Arts Therapy"... maybe teaching, counseling, writing.... maybe all of it.
Good shoes have also helped. Put a spring in my step. My age-old comfortable Birkenstocks were like walking in snow shoes... now I feel I'm bouncing all over campus.
'Nuff said.... got about 10 hours of reading and note taking this weekend.
Feels good to blog again!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
All in all, while I'm tired today, I am so grateful for the opportunity to explore and journey on the path I started so long ago. When I was 13, graduating from 8th grade, I wrote a paper about my future career. I wanted to be a musical therapist, so I could help people. Six years later, graduating from high school, my yearbook says "Chris hopes to become a secretary"!!! The fabulous dream, that I could help people, got lost along the way. My family had guided me along the path they thought would be best.... I learned to type and file, in case my husband broke his leg and I'd have to get a job. I was channeled along the path to be a wife and mother.
Throughout my life though, I have found a number of ways to get back to my path/purpose, working with senior citizens, leading groups, working with churches. AND NOW it is time for me to get back on my path! My intention is to first, finish my college degree; and second, to become an "Expressive Arts Therapist". When I'm 70, I want a nice case load of people I can help and inspire through Sacred Art.
So, I may be fuzzy today, but that's ok. I'll learn to pace myself. I have a HUGE CARROT in front of me. After 62 years, and a 45 year detour, I am pointed clearly in the right direction.
I am thankful.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Then she "read" each of us.... rather, she allowed the Team to speak through her. Each of us was moved and validated for information and knowledge we already (kind of) knew.
For me, she validated that this is a time of going within and simplifying my life. They talked about our property and the healing nature here. They asked for a name and instantly the name "Chrysalis" came out of my mouth. Appropriate. A time of being in the cocoon, preparing for transformation.
So, part of being in the cocoon, for me, is about doing the deeper work I've mentioned before. Entering the Castle has me searching out "deep stuff" in rooms filled with grief, shame, loss, and sadness. Who want to go there! But it's a necessary journey, into the dark night of the soul.
The Team picked up energy around my liver. Louise Hay says the liver holds anger issues. I think the liver is about cleansing. I don't relate to the anger part. Yet, I'm open to the messages that may be lurking in the darkest corridors of my Castle/Liver.
My friend Maja speaks of living in the mystery. That's kind of where I'm at right now. It's all a mystery. I'll be starting classes next week, working towards a degree in "Expressive Arts Therapy". As for starting up new business, developing new groups or attracting new clients... well that seems to be on hold for the moment. It's not the time to start something new.
When I'm ready.... well, wow. I can feel it and see it. Just not right now.
In the mean time, I'm curious about what my liver has to teach/show me. I welcome any insights concerning the metaphysical aspects of the liver.
Many blessings, and
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Law of Attraction is all about allowing. Allowing is about flowing with the currant, down stream... about aligning my thinking with what it is I DO WANT.
I've been doing some really deep emotional work this week and it's been showing up in aches and pains in my body. I even fell, plus a cabinet glass door fell on my head! That's what can happen when you go deep into the darkest Castle chambers! But, today was different.
Every thought is one of two things: an up stream thought, or a down stream thought. That simple. So today, I watched my thoughts. I purposefully replaced "up stream" thinking with positive, down stream thoughts. Instead of thinking about how my body was aching and stiff, I thought about how lovely it feels to stride in big swaying steps. I thought about how wonderful it feels to have a spring in my step. Literally, as the day went on, I felt more and more limber in my movement.
So, Abraham's words are still sinking in. Oh... it was also very easy to stay with my food plan today. Didn't want to over eat or even snack. Another nice thing to be grateful for.
So with that, good night and
Saturday, August 22, 2009
While I am doing some deeper soul work (Entering the Castle, by Carolyn Myss) I am held in the gentle loving container of this Zen Garden. I leave my garden to "do my day", but many times a day, I return to it's beauty.
This is the view from my pillow.....
You can see the sun light filtering through the Redwoods. Quan Yin, up close on the right, was found in a garage sale more than 15 years ago. We love her and she has graced every home/garden we've lived in.
This is a planter my son Tim made, planted with tiny baby plants which will fill out in time. You can also see another Budha statue, plus my altered art shrine.Here's a long shot of the left side of the garden. The ceremonial umbrella came from Bali about 11 years ago when I was honored to travel with Soul Sister Toni!
Bill and I found the little boy fountain way in the back, about 17 years ago. We gave it to my dad for his garden. Now that dad has passed, it has special meaning to me, knowing my dad enjoyed seeing it through his kitchen window every day.
Want to come visit in my Zen Garden? Tea is lovely. Sometimes just sitting in silence is wonderful.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Straightaway we were swarmed by hundreds of the sweetest, most adorable, little angels, all laughing and giggling like happy, delighted children. MIRTH! The angelic cherubs romped and danced, soared and swirled all around us for what seemed like a life-time, yet passed in mere minutes. I'm still smiling and still feel the tingles of joy and delight.
Do you know, those little celestial beings stayed with me all day! They accompanied me to our old house and made the chore of cleanup, organizing, sorting, etc.... all go happily and smoothly. This was a dreaded, heavy chore! But my little companions made light of the work and actually had Bill and I being silly and having fun to boot!
So I invite you to go into your heart, find that special domed shaped chamber, and invite these tiny Celestial Angels into your life.
Why not lighten up.
Why not have some fun.
God is Good.
Monday, August 10, 2009
I don't feel like I've been paying attention nor setting my intentions these past couple of days. I've just been floating along. No, wait, that's not true. There are several things going on, some that pull my attention and others that allow me to just float along. So it's been an interesting adventure this weekend. Bill and I puttered in our Zen Garden and constructed three water features, plus placed a huge rock (I forgot it's name). We've also been at the old house and, truthfully (ouch) I'm a bit overwhelmed. I'd much prefer to continue to feather the nest here, to create sacred spaces to enjoy daily.
This afternoon Bill pulled out boxes and boxes from the attic. Papers and memorabilia from the 60's... my exhusband's sailor hat that he threw to me as he was leaving for Viet Nam. My son's Evilconeval costume, Ernie and Burt hand puppets, old jewelry boxes, my dad's taxes from the year he died. There is just so much stuff to be gone through.
So, I'm asking my angels and guides to help me set my intention to have this be a light and easy adventure. It is my intention to breeze through the rooms of boxes, books, clothes, etc.... setting aside the keepers and letting go for sale so much more than I'd planned. We just want to be "done" over there so we can sink in to the beauty, peace and serenity here.
My angels and guides are pretty cool, so I know this will be done.
And so it is.
Friday, August 7, 2009
So, I've been playing observer, watching my Self through these last few days. I have re-experienced some of the stress I left behind months ago. Difference is, my angels and guides have been right here, tugging on my sleeve to get me to see the bigger "allowing" picture.
My Essene Book of Days started my morning with this:
"Thy will be done"
Is the name of the River
That carries me along.
This day, I surrender my ego
To that eternal river
Hmmm... isn't it interesting how we read/see/hear just what we need WHEN we need it!!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So I just stopped. Tomorrow is another day. At least one phone line is working. I didn't really lose it. I don't have to be in control. I just like it better that way.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
So, today I made a commitment to set a contact time each day to connect with my Divine Guides. I started a new journal just to record the process. Here's my initial contract:
I form this partnership fully awake and conscious of the pantheon of spiritual guides, angels, saints, totem animals, and beings who have gone on before. The purpose of the partnership is two fold:
1: for my personal growth and development
2: for guidance and direction to make myself available to do the work I was brought here to do.
I agree to work in partnership with my spiritual guides.
I agree to show up and be accountable.
I agree to be conscious of their direction and influence.
I agree to allow full support.
I agree to place myself under the Law of Diving Guidance and Divine Protection in all situations, time frames, and realities.
I agree to be about my Divine Purpose.
I agree to be a clear channel of Divine Light and Divine Love.
I agree to follow the Divine Laws of Attraction.
I acknowledge my Divine Troop of Celestial Angels and Guides are ever present and available to me.
And so it is agreed.
And so it is.
Then again, I've also dramatically altered my state of thinking to allign with the Law of Attraction. When I am now confronted with what would have made me frustrated, tense, pressured, etc... I an conscious to choose another way of thinking, another way of holding the information. So maybe it's the absence of all the stress and anxiety that manifested a great deal of mind and time. I believe I am recalibrating to living with more "roominess" mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
The biggest thing that is going on for me this week is about connecting to my angels and guides. More and more I am finding their interventions in my life. And through unexpected sources. Yesterday my son was imploring me to return to a regular diet regiment such as OA. He expressed his desire for me to be around for a long time. And he said he was going to call me each day to get my calorie count. (Something my OA sponsor would do.) It touched my heart and brought out tears. Such a sweet way of showing that he cares.
And there is more to that story.... more about making that deeper connection to my son. But, see... I can't think of any words to share about that. It's just a feeling of deepening and soul joy.
My morning Essene meditation said something about my inner monk that keeps me centered in my castles of love and that I am empowered by that Chant within.
So, I'm taking more quite time now.
Monday, August 3, 2009
So, I've got two lessons going on here...
#1 how I allowed a little thing to diminish my serenity
#2 how my framing with the word "always" can keep the pattern stuck
I didn't sleep well, even after an amazingly beautiful day yesterday. I enjoyed my Zen garden from my bed until 11am! Unheard of from me. It was so beautiful! I even downloaded some fabulous Zen flute music to accompany the essence of the garden. Bill and I had a lovely trip to Watsonville. I listened to my Angels and found amazing tomatoes for 10 cents a pound! (Yes!) We put down Redwood bark chips and the surrounding areas help to create even more serenity, peace and calm in the Zen Garden!
So, I was feeling quite peaceful when I went to bed and was about to blog about the day.. when my cable connection to the internet was lost. Second time in two weeks. Plus the new "bundled" cable phone line cuts out like poor cell phone reception, but only at night. So, rather than deal with it last evening at 9pm, I took it to bed with me. Unrest was in my sleep and dreams. I even told myself that I could use this opportunity to practice the Law of Attraction... I could be agitated or relaxed and peaceful.
In the end... my reframing it helped me correct the issue first thing this morning which allowed me a little time to meditate, journal and blog. I corrected the problem by unplugging everything and rebooting the works.
So, now I set my intention to reframe my attitude today. Instead of being tired from restless sleep, I am open to the flow of the day. I am open to the love and care of my angels. I'm busy today, all over town, bank, antique store, etc. I intend to take the visual, audible, sacred essence of my Zen Garden with me to enjoy in sacred little moments through out the day.
Hey! I transformed "little things" to "sacred little moments"! Thank you Angles and Guides.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I did stop and become silent (for a moment), and the one-word message I received was
So I have. Not that I've stopped my "doing" around here... the Zen Garden is looking really lovely. What I'm relaxing is the push, the effort in my mind.
Silly but interesting, I believe I have a Creative Sacred Space Angel that sends me REALLY LOUD messages. Proof #1: (this seems silly, but it's true) Last week I was heading out to Kmart to pick up some cheap 6-pack plants for my Zen Garden. I kept getting a REALLY LOUD inner message to stop at the Plant Works in Ben Lomond. Happily I found a number of wonderful plants marked WAY down, mostly to $5 each! normally $20-45 each! I loaded up and said "Thank you God". Was this my Creative Sacred Space Angel? (I feel I need a better name for this Celestial Light.)
Proof #2: (again, this seems silly, but also true) Just yesterday Brittany, David and her friend Katie suddenly volunteered to paint the shed that is one side of my Zen Garden. I have a magazine picture of just the right color purple, with green trim to inspire me. So I zipped down to the hardware store in Ben Lomond, and there was TWO cans of PURPLE opps paint for $5 each!! (Opps paint is paint that the paint mixer messed up, so they sell it for $5, normally $35-40!)
I keep saying it sounds silly.. an angel guiding the creation of my sacred spaces? Yet, the whole painting party was so quickly inspired (and almost completed!) there seems to be an energy that keeps propelling the creation of this space, and of our home!
Silly-Sacred.... actually, sounds allot like JOY, light heartedness, peace, smiles, open heart, comfortable, welcoming, ZEN.
Thank you Mother-Father God... THANK YOU! my Juicy Sacred Creative Angel!!!
Friday, July 31, 2009
I was born with my Guardian Angel, an awareness so common in Catholic childhood. I've always felt his presence. There have been times in my life when I've journaled to my Angel Michael... asking for and receiving guidance.
Tonight, struck by the idea of partnering with my "Team" to design my work that's on my purpose has set me into silence. I don't have words... just feel befuddled. So much joy has manifested over the last few months, all from the energy of the Law of Attraction. Something magical guided me to ask Peggy to be our speaker this evening. I was supposed to hear her words.
My angels calling me? A tap on the shoulder? I've been in a nice, mellow space since this move. In a designed pause before setting out to do what ever it is God wants me to do next. So very timely that I'm hearing this now.
So, I ask my angels... what.... what now. Do you want me to follow you. Set up a new routine? follow some guidelines? tell me, tell me....
The only answer I hear is...
Maybe there will be more tomorrow. I'm really open, and kind of afraid of the power and potential of paying attention here.
Relax... breathe... stop thinking and planning.
And so it is.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Guess I'm in the threshold. I've downsized my spaces and invited other dealers to spread out. This will give me more days off, a little less stress, and slightly more income. I've offered one dealer the opportunity to market in the front window which will relieve me of the guilt I feel for not keeping it up.
I do feel good about the store I've created out of nothing. I just started one. Invented my own bookkeeping and sales tracking procedures. And it's a popular little shop with a loyal and big customer base. And the group of dealers that are working are like a big family. Not everybody gets along with everybody, all the time.... just like a family. When someone is sick... we fill in for each other without expecting payback. Deep friendships have formed.
And we have survived and THRIVED in these last few months, despite the economic situation. But for me, it's still my J.O.B. Not my passion or my purpose. I'm not sure what my "moving on" will look like. I truly don't want to let go of the shop. But I'm feeling such resistance to being there. And I daydream about the work I really want to do.
More groups. More coaching clients. Education. Make sacred art. Meditate. Garden. Be a grandma to Brit and wife to Bill. Enjoy my pets. Enjoy my gardens. Breathe.
I just want to be in a position to help the people that God wants me to assist. So I'll say goodnight with thoughts that will lead me into dreams of Serving "My Peoples".
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tomorrow I'll post pictures.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Listen to the silence....
Friday, July 24, 2009
It's been a blessed day, and I give thanks.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Then the dogs were excited this morning, early, 4:30ish. I think a raccoon set them off. Then I spent several hours getting the dealer checks ready to bring to the shop where I worked an 8 hour shift. So I came home tired and worn out. I had started a crockpot dinner this morning so I only had to cook some pasta to serve with the meal. And being as tired as I am, I ate two servings. Why do I eat when I'm so tired. I should be sleeping.
This is the heart of it for me. I get really, really tired... then the carbs call.
So, tomorrow's a new day. A day to enjoy the Redwood Mountain, maybe walk around the lake... dance some more disco! So many wonderful opportunities to live joyfully and consciously.
I am thankful.a
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
As this group has evolved, I'm finding more and more, that sense of being "On Purpose". Not necessary to have a scripts on hand, or to fill up time, or make sure that I've prepared enough material so they walk away enlightened or educated. Rather, it's evolved to a surrender, an allowing, a tuning in to the spirit, soul, and energy of the group.
I had great intentions today. To complete several hours of book study and art work... instead I spent some time with Brit and I took a long nap on the porch swing. Still feel satisfied.
So I say, thank you God for this Terrific Tuesday.
Monday, July 20, 2009
to see them. The Haiku I wrote is included with each card.
Here's my fav....
This image was calling me all day, but it so filled up the whole card. Then, at the last moment I found some beautiful bamboo pictures and it came together.
And this is my second fav... Although very old and wizened in this picture, Mother Theresa's prayers have the ripe, verdant energy of the young Goddess.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Somehow, the day floated by with calm, ease and gentleness. (Though Bill had a time crawling under the house to get the electric to the other side.)
I became aware that I had visioned a day exactly like this. One with no big, hurried schedule. Rather a day to let flow as it may. Each of us got things done... more boxes put away, more yard clean up... but through out the day I felt a deep calmness. No stress. Such a new and interesting feeling.
Late in the day Brit and I drove up to Loch Lomond. It's just less than one mile, but the lake is actually lower in altitude than our house, so it's a long clime up to the ridge, then a longer hill down to the lake's edge. Very steep. So we drive. But then there was the most fabulous one mile walk along the lakeside. We watched the ducks. Serenity, peace, simple joy. Such a nice, almost effortless walk. Oh... and there was NO STRUGGLE. I looked forward to that walk all day. I look forward to another tomorrow.
So, I'm thankful that I seem to be more in my body and conscious of 1) what I'm eating and 2) how I'm moving. I also took some time to start my writing journey with SARK. It's a 30 day, at your own speed, writing course. First assignment was to write a list of beautiful moments. Then to pick one of the moments and write a third-person story. Not something I'm comfortable with. Rather write Haiku.
I remembered taking my oldest son to the park, late afternoons, after my husband left for his evening shift at the police station. We would sit on the grass near the pansies and I would read and 2-4 month old Billy would gaze at all the colors. It was such a beautiful time. So in my short story about it, Chris is still saying goodby to her policeman husband. And somehow, I've gotten caught up in the cost of our groceries. Somehow, I've got to get her out the door and to the park. It's really very lovely to remember... but a little trying to write as a short story.
Much love to my sweet readers.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Then a long visit with Brit, her dad, and dad's girlfriend... so it was late and hot when we got back home. We ate watching a movie... then I remembered... I haven't taken my walk. The struggle was prepared to begin... but the struggle never rose... it was an easy choice. I WANTED TO TAKE MY WALK!
It was a tiny walk because I was/am very tired. But at least up the block and back at a fast pace. I know, in time, the distance and duration will increase. Right now, I'm thankful that a shift is happening and movement is becoming important.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Haiku for the Walk
To walk, stroll, hike, trek
I want my heart to want it
Rather take a bath
Sunshine lights the path
Dancing reflection on leaves
Why can’t I hear you
I used to love you
Walking with my shadow self
Am I afraid now?
Sluggish inner child
Demanding pouting not me
But who really wins?
I want to want it
To own “Can’t live with out it”
Body moves graceful
The path is dancing with joy
Reluctant I come
Following with trust
Divine intelligence calls
Grace and joy propels
Poetic verse calls
Energy to move and dance
Playful on the path
I surrender now
To the calling deep within
Hello Divine Health
So, I'm in my struggle this morning. Shall I walk now, or plan to after working in the shop today. I was tending towards the procrastination point of view. Then a phone call (at 7:02!!) Someone found little Lulu up the street and would be walking her back. I needed to throw on my clothes to meet the kind neighbor who walked Lulu back.
So there. Now I'm dressed. One of my major procrastination defenses.
Guess I asked for help, and I got it.
So I did it.
Enjoyed the garden of a neighbor I now want to meet.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I'm usually good at commitments, especially when it involves others. Commitments to myself, I try to keep also. There are a number of things I've made a personal commitment to, and have kept my promises to myself. Interesting though.... lately I've said "I want to exercise more" and "I want to eat healthy". Yet I have REFUSED to make or state a commitment about those two things.
Even now.... I want to say it. I want to make a commitment. Then I play it forward and don't/can't/want/whatever! see myself doing it. Oh please, Chris... make the commitment!
Just DO IT.
So I did start today. It was such a struggle. For days now, I keep wanting/imagining/thinking about take a walk in our wonderful Redwood neighborhood. And I haven't. This afternoon I had to drive Miss Brit to Santa Cruz. It was 3:00. I wanted an ice coffee... then I would come home and walk. Or would I? West Cliff, that beautiful walk along the sea began to call my name.
I walked on fire (yes!) 20 years ago this coming January 1st. The hardest part of walking on fire was making the decision. THAT IS WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE! Oh... the decision today, to go get the coffee versus take a walk on West Cliff had me tied up for a few minutes. I actually drove around circles.
Then I did it. I actually had the exact same feeling I did that winter night of the firewalk... "I can't go home without doing this."
I took a walk.
It was wonderful.
I feel wonderful.
I saw a dolphin.
I can commit to writing in my blog every day. I can commit to just about anything Brittany or my sweetheart needs. I can commit to being there for my friends.
I hereby commit to walking every day.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
So, with best intentions... at 10:15 this evening there was a loud pop and off went our electricity. Sweet David, Brit's boyfriend had to turn around on his way home and come back because a tree had fallen across power lines. We thought we were in for a night and maybe a day before the electric would be back. That always brings out the pioneer in me. But I wouldn't be able to meet my goal of posting daily.
then, just a few minutes ago... blink, blink, blink, my little bedside clock started blinking. We're on again. But now, I'm way to tired to post.
I just had this thing.
I HAVE to post every day.
Is that compulsive?
But I did do it, I did post.
Just not too much substance.
But I'm a morning person.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Oh how the mornings are glorious. I wish I could carry this peace and calmness throughout my day.
It starts so lovely... my sliding garden door opening from the foot of my bed, out onto what will become my Zen Garden, and the view turns lofty gazing out at the Redwood Forrest... trees spaced so perfectly, that the sunlight filters through. Birds songs greet me as do my animals, joyful to see me once again.
Somewhere in my day, I lose all this. I become too tired which allows stress to do it's number on me. I pushed so hard yesterday, after having such a peaceful morning. Living in the midst of unpacked boxes and partially completed rooms can add a level of stress. But I've purposely kept the living room clean and clear of moving debris. The gardens are shaping up, showing the bones of what will be God's beauty.
But, I let myself get worn out, tired, cranky and hungry. That's when I make the worst decisions. I need to converse with my inner child more so she doesn't have to do her pouting, "I can't get enough" attitude. Rather, she will bask in the contentment of what I experience each morning. It's only when I'm tired that I make stupid decisions on what to eat.
So, while I did stick to eating just three meals yesterday, I don't even want to confess what dinner was and what followed it. It is so clear that "Little Christine" got joy out of the meal and desert. I want to commit to reprogramming her, to show her love and attention during the times when the more adult, spiritually oriented Chris feels the love, beauty and contentment all around her.
So, that is my intention for today. To love Little Christine the way her parents did when she was born. To love Little Christine the way Mother, Father, God, Goddess does. She is blessed and I am blessed to come to this realization.
Taking it to prayer: Mother Father God Goddess, I surrender to you today. I give you my anxt, my "push forward" thinking. I'll allow You to remind me of the beauty all around me, and to take that contentment into my deepest, subconscious core. I'll ALLOW your Grace to permeate my every moment, just for today, one day at a time, one moment at a time, now.... now... again, now. And so it is. Thank you.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
So this morning is a beautiful, peaceful, and serene Sunday. My animals are roaming about, saying good morning to their favorite haunts. I tried to meditate, to empty my mind... but I kept drifting into thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. I just read in Caroly Myss's "Entering the Castle" that there is light in the silence. I really wanted to go for that "light"... but couldn't quite find my silence. Tried playing some meditation music from the Star Child site... but thoughts kept swirling about. Maybe, because I am a high energy, morning person... I should find a time later in the day when it's easier to quiet this thinking.
As I set my intentions for today... ahhh. I have none! Not that there isn't three thousand million things that need doing... I just don't feel compelled to make a list, prioritize, nor schedule a darn thing beyond sitting on the porch swing with my coffee. (Which I plan to do the moment I sign off here.)
Well, with that....
I'm on to my porch swing.
Many blessings of the Summer Day to you,
Saturday, July 11, 2009
We had a lovely chat on the front porch. Such a peaceful and beautiful morning to just sit. But then we went into action and by the end of the next 12 hours, we did a total make-over on Brittany's bedroom. Sweet child had painted and really did allot of great work... but we painted the floor purple, they put down a fabulous nubby shag rug, hung a shabby-chic lamp, new flat screen TV, day bed, and lovely shear drapes hanging gracefully from new curtain rods. Needless to say, she LOVED IT!
So my day was fabulous too. I loved working with Bill to do this for Brit, and her reaction was well worth the energy. Lovely too, there was no stress today!
So I am thankful for the variety and flexibility of the day. I am thankful for a generous, giving husband, and I am thankful for a darling, appreciative granddaughter.
I am truly blessed.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Yesterday was a blessed day, when I was able to keep my frame of mind and not allow stress to impact my peace, calm, and spirituality. Just walking slower and being conscious of breathing helps to keep my awareness in the now.
Opps, I do remember allowing stress when it took me a full 45 minutes circling through the maze of phone company system to get the call forwarding to work. It was really the only time in the day where I allowed stress to build up. I had a schedule I wanted to follow and 45 minutes of useless circling, holding and explaining frustrated my plan. It took a bit of time in the gardens to reclaim my serenity.
Today I affirm and set my intention to be fully aware of myself, like a walking meditation. I know that God is working through me as I tend to all that needs tending by me. And if/when a potential stress=making situation arises, I intend to "allow" deep breathing, relaxation, flexibility, and peace of mind to replace the allowing of stress.
I get that we get to "allow" either experience. Allow stress? Allow Peace! duh!
Thank you God for your brilliance working through my sometimes muddled mind!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I make the intention to live from the deeper level of my soul... to stay connected to this Holy State of Being. Late in the morning human life begins to stir around me. The ones I adore and love set out on their day, on their agendas. We seem to all be on the same page/path, with similar goals. Well, moving is stressful, right? Stressful for everyone. Things are still packed. Things are still at the other house. Things have missing things, so the washing machine can't wash. Shower curtains don't hang as easily as they "should". Yet I am grateful for all these blessings. And the day moves along.
Then there are humans not in my immediate circle who impact our little family with changes in plans. Time schedules goes awry. Sensitive to other's sensitivities, my internal peaceful landscape begins to go lopsided. I'm struggling to stay balanced on the slippery slope of my now gone-wonky, best set intentions. Frustrations pop up like annoying little burrs in the carpet. My feathers are ruffled. I have no more clean clothes. And the people I love so much are now upset that I am upset.
Where is the peace of heart, serenity of spirit, joy of the moment?
Craving alone time to recalibrate I encourage my loved ones to go out for a treat. To spend time in Santa Cruz getting dinner and doing things that bring them great joy. Gleefully, they leave. Aha... once again in my day, I am alone and ready to relax with a movie and an easy dinner.
Settling in with a sandwich and my peaceful pets at my side I turn on the TV to view my movie. Alas... the cable box is malfunctioning (although it worked a few hours earlier). The Cable tech wants me to read a serial number that seems to be inscribed with a tiny, sharp needle. I can't see it. Then he says I must turn the 52" TV around and look at some connection in the back. Where is my man, my hero-husband, when I need him. Forty five frustrated minutes later I retreat to my granddaughter's lovely new pink room. I find another movie to delve into while I munch on my now partially stale sandwich. A wonderful, sweet experience, being in her energy in her pink room. Then her TV (actually her VCR) says something about shutting off in two minutes. I push a bunch of buttons... but it turns off anyway. At least I ate my sandwich.
But I'm not feeling too rested, nor too peaceful. Oh.. and the three, mixed up phone lines in our house keep ringing. One said "We're sorry, we're not available to talk to you right now." !! what was that about? So I take to the sanctuary of my beautiful, partially furnished bedroom. I begin to find peace and joy here. But the phones keep ringing. Odd calls on our new phone lines. But there was at least one happy call from Hubby, joyful about an experience had in Santa Cruz.
In short time, the three hours have passed and my loved ones return. They notice that I'm not as happy and relaxed as they thought I'd be by now. So we all decide to go to bed. We bid sweet dreams and I retire to journal in my gratitude journal, finding the blessings of the day. I try to get the pets out of my room. Why do they love me so! Trixie, the darling kitty she is... absolutely REFUSES to leave. So I turn off the lights and try to settle in. Trixie decides she loves to prance and pounce on the partially emptied moving boxes. Just too much distraction to settle into sleep. No matter how I invite her to leave my room, she delights in hiding and running to a far corner. I'm allowing my tired and weary self to be frazzled and short tempered. Kitties really don't respond well to that energy. Trixie pounces on my bare foot and bites my toe, drawing blood! I begin to cry.
Passing through the house, my hero-husband comes to the rescue and Trixie runs to him purring. He takes Trixie and kisses me good night. I settle in, once again, breathing and meditating myself to find that peaceful place in my soul that will welcome slumber.
Then, in the blissful silence of the night I hear it. My cell phone is beeping (in the next room- beyond my closed door where kitties lie waiting), letting me know I've missed a call. Can my meditation take me deeper, ignoring the periodic beep?
The open bedroom door seems like an invitation to the animals. It's not. They get my energy and stay away. Cell phone gets cut off. I return to bed not humored by the events of the evening.
Oh... God is good and takes me to a deep slumber and I awake refreshed and joyful in this beautiful garden/temple/room. The birds are singing their morning songs. Humans are still asleep. Dogs and kitties circle around me, welcoming me to the joy of their day. (They don't remember I was cranky last night!)
My heart is smiling. I am laughing at myself. A wonderful gift was given to me yesterday evening. The gift to really see myself, my human nature, to give way to frustration because I could not control my world. And there is where Peace begins. In the smallness of the little things that go awry and set me off. Being able to transform frustration into finding Peace. That is my work, my lessons.
And I give such thanks for awareness, aliveness and the awesomeness of knowing that God is always there. Peace is always there, when I surrender and just let go. Stop trying to control everything!
Oh... and my sad, lonely, frustrated, petulant inner child demanded those chocolate malt balls to feed her feelings. Interesting, they did note satiate a darn thing. Useless waste of empty calories. No, not a waste, because the lesson is there to remind me.
Take more time during the day to recalibrate with my intentions set earlier in the day. Take a moment to reconnect with the High Energy that is God flowing through me. Remember. Now. Again, now.
and again, now.
I am so grateful. To start a new day. To set new intentions. To know that God is always there. My world is one of Peace, Joy, and Serenity.
Thank you Mother, Father, God, Goddess
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
But the "New Beginnings" that inspired this entry came from our "Sacred Commerce" group which met just yesterday. Maja shared about desiring to begin a 365 day journey journal/blogspot. And today, sweet Sister Joyce, began a 30 day journal journey.
So, feeling supported by my mighty, inspiring companions, here I go. I'm intending to journal my spiritual journey each morning as I go within and discover the deeper chambers of my soul that are inspired by Carolyn Myss's Entering the Castle: An Inner Path to God and Your Soul.
And, I want to commit to journaling another aspect of my life. Joyce calls it "30 Days of Being With My Natural Energy". I feel I can really commit to leading a healthy lifestyle in little chunks of time like this. Last year I did well for a few months in an OA-90 program. I loved my sponsor. But weighing and measuring my meals was over the top for me. I don't have the staimna... actually, I'm not as willing to surrender as other OA members seem to be. So this is my opportunity to follow Joyce's lead, to be with my "Natural Energy" rather than the energy, comfort, etc. that I usually derive from food and sweets.
I am so blessed! And I give thanks, that I have this wonderful, metaphorical, opportunity to create a new home here in our cottage and a new beginning for my health and wellness. And I am so grateful to my sweet sisters in our Sacred Commerce group!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, "We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love."
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying "Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you." But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficultdifficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can't love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they've found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why. Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.
Spiritually speaking, there's a different point of view. Is a person's very life at stake if they aren't able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a "Hungry Ghost." But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again - explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away.
We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn't mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light.
During this SPRING season, let's give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
There’s a new shaman in town. But there is no need for saging, drumming, or dancing.
This shaman is actually a wise old spirit, here once again. His message is a gentle reminder of an age old perspective that we choose our experiences out of what we think, what we say, what we believe, how we act and what attitude we have. The only requirement to access the magic of this spiritual concept is to pay attention to what you hold in your mind and the stories you are telling yourself. So, what are you thinking?
Our shaman is in good company! The Upandishads taught us “Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man thinks, that he becomes.” And we learn from Buddha that all we are is a result of what we have thought. Our mind is everything, what we think, we become.
Yikes! This could mean that every thought we think is a direct prayer to God, our Higher Power, the Divine Intelligence of the Universe, our personal Medicine.
The media is full of agreement that we, the whole world, are in an economic downturn. Yes, we are being bombarded with bad news. It’s right there clamoring for attention, banging on our doors and on the hood of our cars. But is this the reality that you really want to create for yourself? The shaman thinks not.
When you learn to parachute you are taught “don’t look where you don’t want to go!” The shaman teaches us that our only job as human beings is to be aware of and present to what we are holding in our thoughts. This reminds me of a song I learned many years ago:
Our thoughts are prayers
And we are always praying
Our thoughts are prayers
Be careful what you’re saying
Seek a higher consciousness
A state of peacefulness
And know that God is always there
Every thought becomes a prayer.
So, this is what I’ve learned from my personal shaman. To be consistently aware of my thoughts and the stories I’m telling myself. If my energy feels love and expansive, this is good. If my energy feels fearful with the need to contract and protect, this is not so good. I often stop and consider my thoughts and feel my energy. Is this what I want more of in my life? So I make a conscious decision to change my thoughts from what I don’t want to what I do want.
I am so grateful that our shaman is getting the word out there. He’s taught me to keep my thoughts focused on a world that supports positive thinking and the laws of attraction. The more I think about it, the more I see it in the community around me and the more I experience it in my life. I invite you to think about and dwell on the positive, wonderful, loving ways you want to experience life. Allow the shaman to gently help you keep focused on what you do want.
As you also find evidence of love, abundance and peace in your community we can join together in celebrating with our wise old shaman. Maybe we will burn some sage of thanksgiving, drum the beat of our gratitude, and dance with love and joy in our hearts.
Conscious Connections Coach
Holistic Business Consulting
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The winter sun is now higher in the sky, yet close to the horizon, creating delightful shadows on my nearby hillside. The tide is in at the moment, so my friendly and boisterous seals are stretching their morning vocal cords on a distant pier... I can still hear you! In the afternoons they take residence on the rocks just below my window and they talk to each other in these deep, throaty, aarrkking sounds. It's all music. And, I'm not clear why the fog horn sounds on clear, sunny days, or clear, moonlit nights??? Again, it's all music! And, of course, Mother Ocean has serenaded this entire retreat. (Will I be able to sleep without her lullaby?)
My soul is full... my creative juices sizzling with excitement to get home to my studio to create! No, I didn't create all that much while I was here for this week... BIG progress for me, to let go of my goals to produce! while on vacation! INSTEAD?? I actually NAPPED! Deep, deep, afternoon sleep, on our Winter sunny deck, in our deep, oversized recliner that my honey hauled out for me. A deep sleep that had dreams playing on the insides of my eyelids. Dreams with soul messages, about choosing to live ON PURPOSE... on MY purpose. If I am going to teach/lead others, I hafta walk the talk! And, it's all good! I'm thankful for naps.
So I depart with an attitude of extreme GRATITUDE! God is GOOD. I am REFRESHED.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
First picture is the amazing sun rise on Monday morning.... keep scrolling down, you've got to see Bill's amazing art work!
so, this is my office away from home. I didn't get out of bed till noon today! Can you blame me? it's amazing!
Here's my honey looking out our livingroom deck.
AND! here's my honey finishing up this amazing angel sketch! I did the preliminary rendering via photoshop ( note the computer picture in the corner) Then Bill renders it on a huge 36" square canvas! This man is the most phenominal artist! Just look at his precision! Tomorrow I'll add in the color. I love these collaborative paintings!
and I'm so thrilled to be married to this man!
I'll post more tomorrow... he's already plotting out another canvas!
Blessings to all, and time for another nap!