Monday, July 13, 2009
Oh how the mornings are glorious. I wish I could carry this peace and calmness throughout my day.
It starts so lovely... my sliding garden door opening from the foot of my bed, out onto what will become my Zen Garden, and the view turns lofty gazing out at the Redwood Forrest... trees spaced so perfectly, that the sunlight filters through. Birds songs greet me as do my animals, joyful to see me once again.
Somewhere in my day, I lose all this. I become too tired which allows stress to do it's number on me. I pushed so hard yesterday, after having such a peaceful morning. Living in the midst of unpacked boxes and partially completed rooms can add a level of stress. But I've purposely kept the living room clean and clear of moving debris. The gardens are shaping up, showing the bones of what will be God's beauty.
But, I let myself get worn out, tired, cranky and hungry. That's when I make the worst decisions. I need to converse with my inner child more so she doesn't have to do her pouting, "I can't get enough" attitude. Rather, she will bask in the contentment of what I experience each morning. It's only when I'm tired that I make stupid decisions on what to eat.
So, while I did stick to eating just three meals yesterday, I don't even want to confess what dinner was and what followed it. It is so clear that "Little Christine" got joy out of the meal and desert. I want to commit to reprogramming her, to show her love and attention during the times when the more adult, spiritually oriented Chris feels the love, beauty and contentment all around her.
So, that is my intention for today. To love Little Christine the way her parents did when she was born. To love Little Christine the way Mother, Father, God, Goddess does. She is blessed and I am blessed to come to this realization.
Taking it to prayer: Mother Father God Goddess, I surrender to you today. I give you my anxt, my "push forward" thinking. I'll allow You to remind me of the beauty all around me, and to take that contentment into my deepest, subconscious core. I'll ALLOW your Grace to permeate my every moment, just for today, one day at a time, one moment at a time, now.... now... again, now. And so it is. Thank you.