Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Commitments and Fire Walking

I'm usually good at commitments, especially when it involves others. Commitments to myself, I try to keep also. There are a number of things I've made a personal commitment to, and have kept my promises to myself. Interesting though.... lately I've said "I want to exercise more" and "I want to eat healthy". Yet I have REFUSED to make or state a commitment about those two things.

Even now.... I want to say it. I want to make a commitment. Then I play it forward and don't/can't/want/whatever! see myself doing it. Oh please, Chris... make the commitment!
Just DO IT.

So I did start today. It was such a struggle. For days now, I keep wanting/imagining/thinking about take a walk in our wonderful Redwood neighborhood. And I haven't. This afternoon I had to drive Miss Brit to Santa Cruz. It was 3:00. I wanted an ice coffee... then I would come home and walk. Or would I? West Cliff, that beautiful walk along the sea began to call my name.

I walked on fire (yes!) 20 years ago this coming January 1st. The hardest part of walking on fire was making the decision. THAT IS WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE! Oh... the decision today, to go get the coffee versus take a walk on West Cliff had me tied up for a few minutes. I actually drove around circles.

Then I did it. I actually had the exact same feeling I did that winter night of the firewalk... "I can't go home without doing this."

I took a walk.
It was wonderful.
I feel wonderful.
I saw a dolphin.

I can commit to writing in my blog every day. I can commit to just about anything Brittany or my sweetheart needs. I can commit to being there for my friends.

I hereby commit to walking every day.

1 comment:

  1. WOW is right! I'm sitting here with chills, Chris. What an amazing journey you took! And you told it so vividly, so powerfully. I got it...I feel it in myself too.

    I, too, keep my commitments to others much better than keeping commitments to myself. We are givers, Chris, to the point of giving ourselves away, and we need to learn to put ourselves at the same level of others (putting ourselves first may be too big a leap for us..on par is big enough).

    Thank you for sharing your pain and discovery and commitment! I love who you are Chris.


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