The J.O.B.

Yes... I have one. I worked in the store today. My wonderful antique shop. A collective with 22 dealers. I realize that the glow has left me and it's now a drudgery, something I don't look forward to, nor enjoy doing. I want to get that spark back. Or do I?

Guess I'm in the threshold. I've downsized my spaces and invited other dealers to spread out. This will give me more days off, a little less stress, and slightly more income. I've offered one dealer the opportunity to market in the front window which will relieve me of the guilt I feel for not keeping it up.

I do feel good about the store I've created out of nothing. I just started one. Invented my own bookkeeping and sales tracking procedures. And it's a popular little shop with a loyal and big customer base. And the group of dealers that are working are like a big family. Not everybody gets along with everybody, all the time.... just like a family. When someone is sick... we fill in for each other without expecting payback. Deep friendships have formed.

And we have survived and THRIVED in these last few months, despite the economic situation. But for me, it's still my J.O.B. Not my passion or my purpose. I'm not sure what my "moving on" will look like. I truly don't want to let go of the shop. But I'm feeling such resistance to being there. And I daydream about the work I really want to do.

More groups. More coaching clients. Education. Make sacred art. Meditate. Garden. Be a grandma to Brit and wife to Bill. Enjoy my pets. Enjoy my gardens. Breathe.

I just want to be in a position to help the people that God wants me to assist. So I'll say goodnight with thoughts that will lead me into dreams of Serving "My Peoples".

Blessings.