What I want to be when I grow up!

I'm fuzzy this morning. Yesterday was my first day back as a full time student. I didn't quite think about attempting this at 62 years of age! Most of the students could be my grandchildren. In fact, it was delightful to drive with Brit and have her share her excitement over her teachers and classes.

All in all, while I'm tired today, I am so grateful for the opportunity to explore and journey on the path I started so long ago. When I was 13, graduating from 8th grade, I wrote a paper about my future career. I wanted to be a musical therapist, so I could help people. Six years later, graduating from high school, my yearbook says "Chris hopes to become a secretary"!!! The fabulous dream, that I could help people, got lost along the way. My family had guided me along the path they thought would be best.... I learned to type and file, in case my husband broke his leg and I'd have to get a job. I was channeled along the path to be a wife and mother.

Throughout my life though, I have found a number of ways to get back to my path/purpose, working with senior citizens, leading groups, working with churches. AND NOW it is time for me to get back on my path! My intention is to first, finish my college degree; and second, to become an "Expressive Arts Therapist". When I'm 70, I want a nice case load of people I can help and inspire through Sacred Art.

So, I may be fuzzy today, but that's ok. I'll learn to pace myself. I have a HUGE CARROT in front of me. After 62 years, and a 45 year detour, I am pointed clearly in the right direction.

I am thankful.
Namaste

What's the liver all about????

Today was an amazing day. Peggy Black brought her "Team" of Celestial Guides to our Sacred Commerce group. She did a reading for the group as a whole, talking about the tapestry we are weaving with our soul connections, and the work we will do collectively and individually.... maybe even a collaborative book!

Then she "read" each of us.... rather, she allowed the Team to speak through her. Each of us was moved and validated for information and knowledge we already (kind of) knew.

For me, she validated that this is a time of going within and simplifying my life. They talked about our property and the healing nature here. They asked for a name and instantly the name "Chrysalis" came out of my mouth. Appropriate. A time of being in the cocoon, preparing for transformation.

So, part of being in the cocoon, for me, is about doing the deeper work I've mentioned before. Entering the Castle has me searching out "deep stuff" in rooms filled with grief, shame, loss, and sadness. Who want to go there! But it's a necessary journey, into the dark night of the soul.

The Team picked up energy around my liver. Louise Hay says the liver holds anger issues. I think the liver is about cleansing. I don't relate to the anger part. Yet, I'm open to the messages that may be lurking in the darkest corridors of my Castle/Liver.

My friend Maja speaks of living in the mystery. That's kind of where I'm at right now. It's all a mystery. I'll be starting classes next week, working towards a degree in "Expressive Arts Therapy". As for starting up new business, developing new groups or attracting new clients... well that seems to be on hold for the moment. It's not the time to start something new.

When I'm ready.... well, wow. I can feel it and see it. Just not right now.

In the mean time, I'm curious about what my liver has to teach/show me. I welcome any insights concerning the metaphysical aspects of the liver.

Many blessings, and
Namaste

A DOWN STREAM DAY

I listened, all night, to the Abraham CD "Think and Grow Thin".... woke up this morning hearing the message about not fighting the river... not paddling UP stream, against the currant, but rather to go with the flow, not even needing to paddle down stream.

The Law of Attraction is all about allowing. Allowing is about flowing with the currant, down stream... about aligning my thinking with what it is I DO WANT.

I've been doing some really deep emotional work this week and it's been showing up in aches and pains in my body. I even fell, plus a cabinet glass door fell on my head! That's what can happen when you go deep into the darkest Castle chambers! But, today was different.

Every thought is one of two things: an up stream thought, or a down stream thought. That simple. So today, I watched my thoughts. I purposefully replaced "up stream" thinking with positive, down stream thoughts. Instead of thinking about how my body was aching and stiff, I thought about how lovely it feels to stride in big swaying steps. I thought about how wonderful it feels to have a spring in my step. Literally, as the day went on, I felt more and more limber in my movement.

So, Abraham's words are still sinking in. Oh... it was also very easy to stay with my food plan today. Didn't want to over eat or even snack. Another nice thing to be grateful for.

So with that, good night and
Namaste

Welcome to my Zen Garden

Well... I finally figured out why my camera wouldn't load pictures to my computer... so first thing this morning I have to post the awesome views that wake me each morning! Taken right about 8:30am. I've already been journaling and meditating before I thought to capture the view.


While I am doing some deeper soul work (Entering the Castle, by Carolyn Myss) I am held in the gentle loving container of this Zen Garden. I leave my garden to "do my day", but many times a day, I return to it's beauty.


This is the view from my pillow.....
You can see the sun light filtering through the Redwoods. Quan Yin, up close on the right, was found in a garage sale more than 15 years ago. We love her and she has graced every home/garden we've lived in.

This is a planter my son Tim made, planted with tiny baby plants which will fill out in time. You can also see another Budha statue, plus my altered art shrine.Here's a long shot of the left side of the garden. The ceremonial umbrella came from Bali about 11 years ago when I was honored to travel with Soul Sister Toni!
Bill and I found the little boy fountain way in the back, about 17 years ago. We gave it to my dad for his garden. Now that dad has passed, it has special meaning to me, knowing my dad enjoyed seeing it through his kitchen window every day.
Want to come visit in my Zen Garden? Tea is lovely. Sometimes just sitting in silence is wonderful.

Much love,
Namaste

I'm being followed!

So, today, in our Sacred Commerce group we went on a magical, angelic guided meditation. And OH WHAT A DREAM! Our guide, Denise Linn, took us into a beautiful domed structure (mine had deep blue painted ceilings with gold woodwork)... the center of the dome opened to the sky where suddenly a sweet little cherub face peeked over the edge!

Straightaway we were swarmed by hundreds of the sweetest, most adorable, little angels, all laughing and giggling like happy, delighted children. MIRTH! The angelic cherubs romped and danced, soared and swirled all around us for what seemed like a life-time, yet passed in mere minutes. I'm still smiling and still feel the tingles of joy and delight.

Do you know, those little celestial beings stayed with me all day! They accompanied me to our old house and made the chore of cleanup, organizing, sorting, etc.... all go happily and smoothly. This was a dreaded, heavy chore! But my little companions made light of the work and actually had Bill and I being silly and having fun to boot!

So I invite you to go into your heart, find that special domed shaped chamber, and invite these tiny Celestial Angels into your life.

Why not lighten up.
Why not have some fun.
God is Good.
Namaste.

My angels and guides are pretty cool

The lovely sound of trickling water is lulling me softly this evening. I am aware that my angels and guides are surrounding me with love and light. They are right there, just waiting for my attention so they may facilitate my intentions.

I don't feel like I've been paying attention nor setting my intentions these past couple of days. I've just been floating along. No, wait, that's not true. There are several things going on, some that pull my attention and others that allow me to just float along. So it's been an interesting adventure this weekend. Bill and I puttered in our Zen Garden and constructed three water features, plus placed a huge rock (I forgot it's name). We've also been at the old house and, truthfully (ouch) I'm a bit overwhelmed. I'd much prefer to continue to feather the nest here, to create sacred spaces to enjoy daily.

This afternoon Bill pulled out boxes and boxes from the attic. Papers and memorabilia from the 60's... my exhusband's sailor hat that he threw to me as he was leaving for Viet Nam. My son's Evilconeval costume, Ernie and Burt hand puppets, old jewelry boxes, my dad's taxes from the year he died. There is just so much stuff to be gone through.

So, I'm asking my angels and guides to help me set my intention to have this be a light and easy adventure. It is my intention to breeze through the rooms of boxes, books, clothes, etc.... setting aside the keepers and letting go for sale so much more than I'd planned. We just want to be "done" over there so we can sink in to the beauty, peace and serenity here.

My angels and guides are pretty cool, so I know this will be done.
And so it is.
Namaste

Allowing is so much more fun than controlling!

And that's the truth! There was nothing in the world I could do or say to change the frustrating behavior of the cable company.... it was what it was.... and eventually, it did get fixed. There I was in the middle of one of my own lessons: I could let my self get anxious and stressed, or I could allow myself to flow with what ever. Well, I know there's a middle ground, I and think I'm getting closer to recognizing the choice point... sooner!

So, I've been playing observer, watching my Self through these last few days. I have re-experienced some of the stress I left behind months ago. Difference is, my angels and guides have been right here, tugging on my sleeve to get me to see the bigger "allowing" picture.

My Essene Book of Days started my morning with this:
"Thy will be done"
Is the name of the River
That carries me along.
This day, I surrender my ego
To that eternal river

Hmmm... isn't it interesting how we read/see/hear just what we need WHEN we need it!!
Sweet blessings

Who's in control?

It was challenging to stay in an "angelic" frame of mind today. The cable/phone company kept me on the phone for almost three hours total, in four different conversations. The child in me was so upset that she didn't get her quiet time. The controller in me was upset that I couldn't control the mistakes they kept making. The caretaker in me was frustrated because neither the shop, Bill, nor Brit could reach me when they phoned. I was spinning. I was watching myself. I caught myself from falling over the edge.

So I just stopped. Tomorrow is another day. At least one phone line is working. I didn't really lose it. I don't have to be in control. I just like it better that way.

I'm learning.

Namaste

Sacred Sisters and Celestial Guides

It was an interesting and amazing morning. My sweet Sacred Sisters met with me for our Sacred Commerce group. We've decided to call this Level IV.... Peggy Black's talk last week about partnering with your Celestial Guides really took us to a new level. It feels like it's the missing piece... to fully engage the power, protection, and Divine Guidance of our Celestial Guides. Peggy calls them her "Team". No matter what "they" are called, they are ready to be at our service, if only we make space and call them in.

So, today I made a commitment to set a contact time each day to connect with my Divine Guides. I started a new journal just to record the process. Here's my initial contract:

I form this partnership fully awake and conscious of the pantheon of spiritual guides, angels, saints, totem animals, and beings who have gone on before. The purpose of the partnership is two fold:
1: for my personal growth and development
2: for guidance and direction to make myself available to do the work I was brought here to do.

Agreements:
I agree to work in partnership with my spiritual guides.
I agree to show up and be accountable.
I agree to be conscious of their direction and influence.
I agree to allow full support.
I agree to place myself under the Law of Diving Guidance and Divine Protection in all situations, time frames, and realities.
I agree to be about my Divine Purpose.
I agree to be a clear channel of Divine Light and Divine Love.
I agree to follow the Divine Laws of Attraction.
I acknowledge my Divine Troop of Celestial Angels and Guides are ever present and available to me.
And so it is agreed.
And so it is.

Inner Monk

Well, I've continued to be in some sort of altered reality this week. I'm here and present, but also kind of empty in my mind. ?????? Maybe after ten years of pressure and of being overwhelmed and having to work 60 hours a week, I'm still in shock at the unpressured state of being today.

Then again, I've also dramatically altered my state of thinking to allign with the Law of Attraction. When I am now confronted with what would have made me frustrated, tense, pressured, etc... I an conscious to choose another way of thinking, another way of holding the information. So maybe it's the absence of all the stress and anxiety that manifested a great deal of mind and time. I believe I am recalibrating to living with more "roominess" mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

The biggest thing that is going on for me this week is about connecting to my angels and guides. More and more I am finding their interventions in my life. And through unexpected sources. Yesterday my son was imploring me to return to a regular diet regiment such as OA. He expressed his desire for me to be around for a long time. And he said he was going to call me each day to get my calorie count. (Something my OA sponsor would do.) It touched my heart and brought out tears. Such a sweet way of showing that he cares.

And there is more to that story.... more about making that deeper connection to my son. But, see... I can't think of any words to share about that. It's just a feeling of deepening and soul joy.

My morning Essene meditation said something about my inner monk that keeps me centered in my castles of love and that I am empowered by that Chant within.

So, I'm taking more quite time now.
Namaste.

"Little things" to "Sacred LIttle Moments"

It's the little things. I often allow little things to get me... to lead me into frustration and dense energies. I don't want to say "It's ALWAYS the little things" because I don't want to program that thought into reality.

So, I've got two lessons going on here...
#1 how I allowed a little thing to diminish my serenity
#2 how my framing with the word "always" can keep the pattern stuck

I didn't sleep well, even after an amazingly beautiful day yesterday. I enjoyed my Zen garden from my bed until 11am! Unheard of from me. It was so beautiful! I even downloaded some fabulous Zen flute music to accompany the essence of the garden. Bill and I had a lovely trip to Watsonville. I listened to my Angels and found amazing tomatoes for 10 cents a pound! (Yes!) We put down Redwood bark chips and the surrounding areas help to create even more serenity, peace and calm in the Zen Garden!

So, I was feeling quite peaceful when I went to bed and was about to blog about the day.. when my cable connection to the internet was lost. Second time in two weeks. Plus the new "bundled" cable phone line cuts out like poor cell phone reception, but only at night. So, rather than deal with it last evening at 9pm, I took it to bed with me. Unrest was in my sleep and dreams. I even told myself that I could use this opportunity to practice the Law of Attraction... I could be agitated or relaxed and peaceful.

In the end... my reframing it helped me correct the issue first thing this morning which allowed me a little time to meditate, journal and blog. I corrected the problem by unplugging everything and rebooting the works.

So, now I set my intention to reframe my attitude today. Instead of being tired from restless sleep, I am open to the flow of the day. I am open to the love and care of my angels. I'm busy today, all over town, bank, antique store, etc. I intend to take the visual, audible, sacred essence of my Zen Garden with me to enjoy in sacred little moments through out the day.

Hey! I transformed "little things" to "sacred little moments"! Thank you Angles and Guides.

My JUICY SACRED CREATIVE ANGEL!

I am still moved to speechless from the Holistic Network meeting on Friday night. At first there was this inner push to figure it all out. To write profound thoughts on the subject of my Angels and Guides.

I did stop and become silent (for a moment), and the one-word message I received was
RELAX

So I have. Not that I've stopped my "doing" around here... the Zen Garden is looking really lovely. What I'm relaxing is the push, the effort in my mind.

Silly but interesting, I believe I have a Creative Sacred Space Angel that sends me REALLY LOUD messages. Proof #1: (this seems silly, but it's true) Last week I was heading out to Kmart to pick up some cheap 6-pack plants for my Zen Garden. I kept getting a REALLY LOUD inner message to stop at the Plant Works in Ben Lomond. Happily I found a number of wonderful plants marked WAY down, mostly to $5 each! normally $20-45 each! I loaded up and said "Thank you God". Was this my Creative Sacred Space Angel? (I feel I need a better name for this Celestial Light.)

Proof #2: (again, this seems silly, but also true) Just yesterday Brittany, David and her friend Katie suddenly volunteered to paint the shed that is one side of my Zen Garden. I have a magazine picture of just the right color purple, with green trim to inspire me. So I zipped down to the hardware store in Ben Lomond, and there was TWO cans of PURPLE opps paint for $5 each!! (Opps paint is paint that the paint mixer messed up, so they sell it for $5, normally $35-40!)

I keep saying it sounds silly.. an angel guiding the creation of my sacred spaces? Yet, the whole painting party was so quickly inspired (and almost completed!) there seems to be an energy that keeps propelling the creation of this space, and of our home!

Silly-Sacred.... actually, sounds allot like JOY, light heartedness, peace, smiles, open heart, comfortable, welcoming, ZEN.

Thank you Mother-Father God... THANK YOU! my Juicy Sacred Creative Angel!!!

Celestial Team speaks??

I'm feeling very humble this evening. It's been a beautiful and peaceful day. I actually did some planning to start my next Sacred Commerce group in September. Then, this evening I held our San Lorenzo Valley Holistic Practitioner's Network Meeting. Peggy Black spoke so eloquently about her Celestial helpers, partnered to guide her business. She tapped into some deep, latent knowledge that I've been sitting on for years.

I was born with my Guardian Angel, an awareness so common in Catholic childhood. I've always felt his presence. There have been times in my life when I've journaled to my Angel Michael... asking for and receiving guidance.

Tonight, struck by the idea of partnering with my "Team" to design my work that's on my purpose has set me into silence. I don't have words... just feel befuddled. So much joy has manifested over the last few months, all from the energy of the Law of Attraction. Something magical guided me to ask Peggy to be our speaker this evening. I was supposed to hear her words.

My angels calling me? A tap on the shoulder? I've been in a nice, mellow space since this move. In a designed pause before setting out to do what ever it is God wants me to do next. So very timely that I'm hearing this now.

So, I ask my angels... what.... what now. Do you want me to follow you. Set up a new routine? follow some guidelines? tell me, tell me....

The only answer I hear is...
Relax

Maybe there will be more tomorrow. I'm really open, and kind of afraid of the power and potential of paying attention here.

Relax... breathe... stop thinking and planning.

And so it is.

The J.O.B.

Yes... I have one. I worked in the store today. My wonderful antique shop. A collective with 22 dealers. I realize that the glow has left me and it's now a drudgery, something I don't look forward to, nor enjoy doing. I want to get that spark back. Or do I?

Guess I'm in the threshold. I've downsized my spaces and invited other dealers to spread out. This will give me more days off, a little less stress, and slightly more income. I've offered one dealer the opportunity to market in the front window which will relieve me of the guilt I feel for not keeping it up.

I do feel good about the store I've created out of nothing. I just started one. Invented my own bookkeeping and sales tracking procedures. And it's a popular little shop with a loyal and big customer base. And the group of dealers that are working are like a big family. Not everybody gets along with everybody, all the time.... just like a family. When someone is sick... we fill in for each other without expecting payback. Deep friendships have formed.

And we have survived and THRIVED in these last few months, despite the economic situation. But for me, it's still my J.O.B. Not my passion or my purpose. I'm not sure what my "moving on" will look like. I truly don't want to let go of the shop. But I'm feeling such resistance to being there. And I daydream about the work I really want to do.

More groups. More coaching clients. Education. Make sacred art. Meditate. Garden. Be a grandma to Brit and wife to Bill. Enjoy my pets. Enjoy my gardens. Breathe.

I just want to be in a position to help the people that God wants me to assist. So I'll say goodnight with thoughts that will lead me into dreams of Serving "My Peoples".

Blessings.

A ZEN GARDEN

A Zen Garden can pull things together. A Zen Garden brings peace, joy, silence, beauty, joy, butterflies, kitties, dogs who just want to be near you, joy, serenity, happiness, quietness, joy, and a feeling you never want to leave your chaise.... until your coffee gets the better of you and you have to make a run for you know where. And above all, a Zen Garden brings joy.

Tomorrow I'll post pictures.

ahhh

When I take time to finally get to writing in my blog... I often come up with nothing. Can't think of what to write about... nothing profound to say. Monkey mind wants to rush around and find something amazing, creative, impressive to chat about.

Then again....

Listen to the silence....





ahhhh

Curled up at the end of the day

It's pure bliss... it's been a beautiful day. Good phone consults this morning... Great Master Minding, Accountability Calls with my Goddess Sisters... and then there is the sweetest connection of all, the connection with my fairy God/Grandchild. I ended the day, snuggled on the couch with my darling Brit. That event, in itself, is so bright, I cannot see any other event.

It's been a blessed day, and I give thanks.

OH MY

Oh my.... it's those carbs. I didn't get enough sleep last night. Watched our saved copy of "So you Think You Can Dance" until around 11... late for me. But WOW can those kids dance! What a joy to watch!

Then the dogs were excited this morning, early, 4:30ish. I think a raccoon set them off. Then I spent several hours getting the dealer checks ready to bring to the shop where I worked an 8 hour shift. So I came home tired and worn out. I had started a crockpot dinner this morning so I only had to cook some pasta to serve with the meal. And being as tired as I am, I ate two servings. Why do I eat when I'm so tired. I should be sleeping.

This is the heart of it for me. I get really, really tired... then the carbs call.

So, tomorrow's a new day. A day to enjoy the Redwood Mountain, maybe walk around the lake... dance some more disco! So many wonderful opportunities to live joyfully and consciously.

I am thankful.a

Terrific Tuesday

And it was. A wonderful "accountability" call with Carol, then a fabulous client call. Then the Sacred Sisters of my Sacred Commerce class came. Each week we go deeper and deeper with our insights, higher and higher with our vibrations. I'm left feeling deeply contented and on Purpose.

As this group has evolved, I'm finding more and more, that sense of being "On Purpose". Not necessary to have a scripts on hand, or to fill up time, or make sure that I've prepared enough material so they walk away enlightened or educated. Rather, it's evolved to a surrender, an allowing, a tuning in to the spirit, soul, and energy of the group.

Ahhh

I had great intentions today. To complete several hours of book study and art work... instead I spent some time with Brit and I took a long nap on the porch swing. Still feel satisfied.

So I say, thank you God for this Terrific Tuesday.

New Soul Collage Cards

The only stress today came from my scanner not functioning properly. So I took some photos of the cards I made on Saturday. Please check my art blog: http://redwoodmountainart.blogspot.com/

to see them. The Haiku I wrote is included with each card.

Here's my fav....
This image was calling me all day, but it so filled up the whole card. Then, at the last moment I found some beautiful bamboo pictures and it came together.


And this is my second fav... Although very old and wizened in this picture, Mother Theresa's prayers have the ripe, verdant energy of the young Goddess.