Tuesday Aug 26th, at Angel's Camp Touched by Taize

What a day the Lord has made! I have spent delicious hours today, perched on our deck, with a view of the rolling hils and oaks, surfing through the net, uncovering insightful spiritual inspirations! I'm doing the early prep work for my doctorate papers due next Spring. Googling "spiritual mentoring", wealths of information surfaces. In this state of mind, open to God's direction, it's no wonder that almost everything seems connected and related to my life and studies, right now, right here.

During the past month or so I've been studying the Bhagavad Gita, page by page, always amazed at the correlations between the ancient Vedic scripture and the relatively new 12-step Big Book teachings. Always going within, always connecting with our brothers/fellows.

So, today I came upon the community of Taize... a little village in the heart of the Burgundy region of France. It seems that year by year, more and more people come there to join in the life of the community for a short retreat or to seek the journey in the Christian vocation.

Here is what I've learned: On visiting Taize, one is immediately struck by its cosmopolitan nature. The members of the community and those who are visiting come from different parts of the world. The variety of language and race is immediately obvious; yet the oneness and unity of all is almost tangible. One becomes very much aware of the vastness of the human family and of the links that exist between us. In the community of the peoples of the world, God has chosen to dwell.

and...We belong to each other because we are members of the same body. If part of that body is hurting, we are all hurting; if part of that body is oppressed or downtrodden then we are all oppressed and down-troddened. Our calling is to be present to each other in all the realities of living, just as God is present to us in our humanity.



Roger, the founding brother, teaches his brothers in the Rule to "keep inner silence always, and you will dwell in Christ." He see inner silence as a prerequisite for prayer. In the world of tension and anxiety, where conflict is often the order of the day, he encourages us all to strive after inner silence. Inner silence "makes possible our conversation with God."

"In every person lies a zone of solitude that no human intimacy can fill: and there God encounters us. There, in that depth, is set the intimate festival of the risen Christ. So henceforth, in the hollow of our being, we discover the risen Christ: he is our festival."

"Perfect joy is self-giving. Whoever knows it seeks neither gratitude nor kindness. It is sheer wonder renewed by the sight of the generosity of the Giver of all gifts, material and spiritual. It is thankfulness. It is thanksgiving." The joy which the brothers of Taize seek is the joy that comes from living in the precious present. It is to live in the 'now,' for it is in the present moment that God is loving and saving us. This true joy comes from within and is born out of simplicity of life. To experience this joy the brothers of Taize constantly strive to simplify their model of living.

So, digesting and assimilating this powerful information, reaffirms the power of our "fellowship" and community and the need for going within to the silence of the Divine Principle, God, the Unified Field of Bliss and Love.

As always, I am so grateful!

Monday, August 24 Angel's Camp

Oh, we are so lucky to have our TimeShares! The drive down to Angels Camp is just three hours from the high county of Yosemite. We were going to just stay here at Angels camp and drive in each day... but I'm so glad that we actually camped right there in the valley. Now we have the amenities of a full kitchen, two bathrooms, etc.... plus a lovely deck that looks out on the golf course. I've been in the pool allot, doing my water aerobics.

Didn't mention in my Yosemite posts about how difficult it was to get out of the low beach chair I just had to have! Plus, riding my bike really stressed my knees. I was just feeling so owie, old and out of condition... of which I am! Swimming on the other hand, allows me great exercise and stretching. I have great plans though, of biking, hiking, and really moving my body with comfort and ease. That is a goal I keep my internal eyes upon!

I'm still struggling with the darned food plan... weighing and measuring and all of that. I've stayed away from flour and sugar... but their is a pouty me that is pissed off and feels sorry for her self. I should at least be able to have a glass of wine. Then, I remember how it used to be.... I'd have good intentions of just one class of wine, or just a normal serving of crackers and cheese... but then, I'd end up wanting and consuming more.... finishing the bottle of wine and the cheese and crackers.... feeling bloated, not sleeping well, and once again, vowing that I would practice moderation the next day.

Whew.... I'm glad I wrote that down.... I feel GREAT RELIEF that I don't have to put myself though that anymore! So, the minor struggles I'm having, trying to weigh and measure, to eat the prescribed foods, is so worth NOT having the stuggles of out-of-control eating and drinking..

Another great happening for me today, was the start of my research for my two doctorate papers! Actually, I spent several hours researching. It was a fabulous break from the self centered thinking I've been doing. I'm excited to research and write my papers. More about that in future posts. For today, I am thankful for my struggles.... I think by accepting them and allowing them just to be, it is letting go and letting God take over. It's just information, not my identity. Thank you God/Goddess, for the blessings in my life!

Sunday Aug 24, leaving the Valley

Whew... everyone is tired today... and just feeling lazy. But we have to pack up. The valley is soooo crowded, it's really starting to bug us. Our neighbors have had their music turned up high! I agree with Brit, that it's just too comercialized and too crowded for real peace and enjoyment. I've had to do allot of spiritual work to not let the noise bother me.... just letting go and letting God help me focus on just the beauty around me. So, we took off for higher points, driving up to above the tree line, the High Country of Lake Tenya, elevation around 8000-9000 feet! We're all tired and dirty, but relieved to get back to some quiet enjoyment of this vast country! Sadly, I'm really out of sorts because of feeling like a failure with my food plan. The ice chest is burried too deep in the car to bring out for lunch, so we're eating cereal and grapes for lunch. Wah, wah, wah.... I feel like such a crybaby. I didn't expect to have negative feelings or thoughts during this trip. Visiting Yosemite was to be a deeply profound spiritual experience. Not that it hasn't had those moments.... there has just been these occasions of yucky feelings and discouragement. I have stuck to my no sugar or flour though... even with the kids having their treats. I know on some levels and I am on the right path... I'm just not eating the required weighed and measured foods.... What's bothering me is that I am so loyal, once I decide to commit to something... and here I am, after my internal struggles, feeling like I've failed anyway. Guess this is what "feeling the feelings" is all about, rather than dumbing out or eatting my way though discontent. It feels kind of raw and very real. When I notice that I'm sliding into this kind of funk, I do some deep breathing and short mediation, calling for the God within me. While levels of this discontent is going on.... there are also divine moments of joy and bliss, when I breathe in the high mountain air and really allow myself to feel deeply, to my core, my connection to the All.


I look at granite rocks, HUGE GRANITE ROCKS, and on one level see them as solid and unmoving, yet on another level KNOW that they are in a state of constant change and movement.... and just a small part of God's Huge Universe! I drew a "zendoodle" mandala which I can't really post, but the writing that goes with it is here: "My heart is opening to deeper places within me. The womb of my life and soul as I travel deep inside me, I find the whole of the Universe that I am at One with." Thank you God for these blessings!

Sat. Aug 23, just too wonderful!

Today the kids are off on a hike to Vernal Falls, and I took a great bike ride around parts of the Valley. It's so crowded here... but the smell of Yosemite and the views are breathtaking! I'm finding it discouraging and trying to stick with this foodplan idea. This is the first get-away where I haven't had my favorite snacks or wonderful drinks to help be relax and enjoy. Watching the kids eat smores, chips, etc... has been hard. I feel like a baby, here is God's wonderland.... and here I am sad about the foods I'm not getting to eat! With all my preparations... the milk has gotten a funny taste in it, I forgot the oil and the yogurt... but I don't want to focus on the negatives.... this is truly GODS PARADISE! And I'm thankful at such a deep level for this beauty and that I have the ability to be here enjoying it! We were so lucky to get a campsite right on the river, with Glacier Point to the right and Half Dome right in front of us! The river is deep here and a great swimming hole. I'm not doing much thinking or journaling... I'm just soaking in the peace and tranquility, especially early in the morning before the other campers wake up. The steep walls of the valley seem to cradle me and give such great comfort! And I'm so grateful that Brit and David could hike to Vernal falls and jump in! They came back early, totally exhausted! Here are the pictures, first of Vernal Falls from a distance. Note the little rock at the bottom... because the next picture is of Brit jumping off, into the pool at the base of the falls. Brit has been so supportive of my food plan.... she wants me to be able to take hikes like that next year with her! Thank you God for this amazing venture!

Friday Aug 22 Yosemite here we come!

Ah... I just love Yosemite! I was so fortunate as a kid to have enjoyed years of family camping here. Our family would camp at Camp 7, right by the Stoneman Bridge. The river was great for swimming. Every night we'd go to the campfire program, sing silly songs (stand up, sit down, shake shake shake). Then the romantic story about the firefall, and the silence as everyone listened to hear the "Let the fire faaalllll" as the bright red embers cascaded off Glacier Point.... then the ooohhhs, and aahhhs. On the way back to our campsite we'd hear the voices calling out "Elmer" "ELMER!". I've forgotten what that folk tale was about. But still today, you can hear an occasional "Elmer" called out during early evening darkness. So, eating on a food plan should be too hard since I sliced and diced my veggies last evening. I'm just so excited to be sharing this with Brit and her boyfriend. And it really is a trip back to my youth, my hopes and dreams. More tomorrow!

DAY 2!! for real!

Oh, it feels so wonderful to have done a full day, completely on the program! I still have a level of frustration, trying to get certain things done before leaving on Friday. I have lots of ebay items to list, to mail, plus the shop data to enter and checks to write and drop off, all before leaving on Friday.

But, yesterday was wonderful.... not in me being up in spirit, more about me being on track and having faith and hope. I chopped and chopped tons of veggies. As I was weighing my 12 oz for lunch, there was a huge bowl of veggies needing to be refrigerated. So I thought, why not bag them all now! Measured out my 12 oz portions into little baggies and popped them in the fridge.
What a concept!

Decided I needed, really wanted and needed, to make a Wednesday night meeting, even though it's 25 miles each way. Brit packed me veggies and chopped up 4 oz of porkchop, seasoned, and off I went. (Had to make a vital bank deposit as well.) Found the bank just before six, then found a fabulous park a few blocks from the meeting (gotta love that GPS system!!).... where I sat for almost an hour, ate my dinner while reading the big book, all to the sounds of young children playing in the park.

I went to my meeting and was warmly greeted by my 2 week sponsor, with a huge hug! Sat in the front row and raised my hand to read. This meeting was in a chapel and the seats were so comfortable! I need to leave meetings right a way to make the long trip home and try to have some down time before going to bed.

All in all, it felt like a very successful day! I am grateful for my temporary, 2 week sponsor. She told me this morning to take my sweet time to find the perfect sponsor for me. Guess this will be an issue I look into next week, after returning from Yosemite.

And I am so thankful, grateful, and glad to be healthy and alive.

Wednesday, 8/20, DAY ONE #2!

Well, I blew it yesterday.... not my fault, but I really get how being prepared is important. I was fully involved working my ebay listings, doing my online banking, etc. and about 9:45 I thought "who is working the shop today", I checked, and it was ME!!! I had totally spaced on the fact that I work the third Tuesdays.

So I quickly packed up what work I could take with me, dressed, grabbed some cottage cheese, and left. So my OA lunch was missing it's 12 oz of veggies. Plus, the frustration of having my tightly controlled schedule was thrown completely off.... enough frustration to really want me to reward myself with food. but that was the old days. I felt pouty, poor me, sorry for myself. I was a bit testy around my husband and granddaughter, so I took some extra time, just 10 minutes to sit and meditate.... calling out the God that is within me. God, God, where ever you are, deep inside me, come out, come out, make me sane, let me feel your presence.

God is great.... I ate a normal OA meal and went to bed early.

I am so grateful!

Tuesday, 9/19 DAY ONE

Well, this is the day that God has made! Day one of having a sponsor and really digging into the OA 90 program. Having FAITH and HOPE are really big things! It's a full day of work, getting ready to go to Yosemite later in the week. My food plan is written down, and a shopping trip with the best ingredients is planned.

What a fabulous day!
thank you God

Powerlessness????? the efforts of truly waking up

(note) I started this blog to journal my daily musings.... then the reality of the depth and deeply personal aspects of my journey being committed to print, open to anyone to read.... well, it truly frightened me! I'd feel exposed, vulnerable, open to criticism and judgment. opps, aren't those fears a reflection of my own criticisms and judgments of others?? lesson learned. So here I am, ready to go, to deeply be open to inner exploration and open to hearing from others, how you travel similar paths.... similar journeys.

Ah, the journey... how was it, what did I do to wake up, how is it now.... a Pandora's box of memory! Most recent memory, just a few months ago, I got together with a dear friend I hadn't seen in several months... and what a vibrant change in her. Not just a weight loss, but a shining, glowing, inner joy that I had seen only periodically from her, and never for a prolonged period. She had joined a 12-step program, Food Addicts in Recovery. And her progress was/is AMAZING! a vibrant picture of healthy body, mind and spirit.

I wanted some of that. I started attending local FA meetings, always sitting in the back, not wanting to be seen, flushing and turning beet red when I stood to introduce myself as a visitor! Hey... that's not "me"... I've led groups for years! I've spoken in front of many people.... hmmmm. Something huge was holding me back from accepting the FA program. However, the women who spoke were fabulously inspiring... but the rigors of their program just didn't feel a fit for me. So my "search" began.

I attended a sweet but small regular OA meeting and met some wonderful women. Then, unknown to me, the next OA meeting I visited was an OA-90, with almost the exact food plan as the FA group! Perhaps, God, my Higher Power, was leading be to the system that would/will best work for me. I've hung in there now for a month or so. I've been attending three very inspiring meetings a week. But I've been resistant to really digging in and accepting the program.

I have resisted finding a sponsor. I've dragged my feet. I've found a thousand or so excuses and very good reasons for not getting started. I've also resisted weighing and measuring my food. I've resisted committing my food each day.

Split down the middle, struggling. On the other side of the coin, I gave up caffeine, flour and sugar, way back on July 4th. That's pretty good. I also bought the books and several times a week have taken some time to study and journal the OA way, steps and traditions. Well, truth is, I haven't gotten past Step One... Admitting I am powerless over anything! So, I have done some of the work.... but I am stalled out here... still wanting "what they have" and resisting my own powerlessness.

I always thought I was good about letting go and letting God be God in my life. I talk a good talk.... the secret is, I walk a lie. I am still resisting letting go and admitting I am powerless over anything in my life! Like Arjuna (Bhagavad Gita) I am faced with two opposing aspects of myself.... the willingness to truly relinquish my control over anything, and my desire to "will" things into manifestation. There must be a third path?

Just for today... my THIRD PATH appears to be the inner wilderness of my own soul and psyche. Just for today... I will seek and explore the deep inner silence that I am told is at the deepest heart of my soul and life. It's not about the eating... it's about the willingness to truly let go and admit that of/by myself I am powerless over many aspects of my life. Just for today, I am willing to actually commit myself to calling a sponsor/starter OA person. I commit to figuring a food plan for the day and I commit to weighing and measuring my meals. I also commit to some forward thinking about shopping and what to keep on hand.

Ok.... whew... that wasn't so awful bad. All I have is me, now in this moment. I thank you God/Goddess for your guidance and willingness to keep on leading me on/towards Your Path.
My most humble blessings and thanksgivings!

Gotta love Small Town USA

It was a fabulous turn out for our Boulder Creek Forth of July Parade! People say they are sticking to home, or just traveling short distances. Whatever! the turn out was huge and wonderful. Lots of home made decorations, darling children riding decorated bikes, local groups from the Lumberjack Axe throwing to the Jazersize shopping cart drills...

I think the most heartwarming and thrill-making entry was the parade of our volunteer firemen/women and the fact that the engines were free to be in the parade! I know there are a number of our local fire fighters down in Big Sur, but it was so gratifying to see so many here, ready, on call for anything that could (but didn't) happen.

Here's pictures, one of the front of my shop....
God Bless America

with humbleness and gratitude!

Mmmmm Coffee, Fooled Me!

Ha! I've been drinking coffee since 1968. At first it was so cool.... I felt mature, grown up, and started having coffee dates with my neighbors and girlfriends. So much of my early life as a mother and wife, were built around the coffee pot. I had a plug in percolator (wedding gift)... then in the 70's moved onto Mr. Coffee drip system.

Being a young family, money was tight and I would use paper towels instead of the expensive filters. (gas was 3 gallons for $1, bread was .25 loaf, and we could feed our family on $10-12 a week!)

My morning coffee has been a staple of my life for all these years. I take a thermos into my quiet/meditation/writing time. Today, I love to sit on my porch swing at 6am, with my cup of coffee. This Christmas I bought my husband a fancy machine that grinds the beans as well as brews a fabulous pot of coffee. Bill sets the coffee up at night, so it's ready for me at 5:30. mmmmmm!

So, several weeks ago I started looking into a 12 step food issue group that says I'll have to give up caffeine (it's addictive)... Oh my gosh, I've given it up cold turkey several times in my life, and each time I had terrible headaches, felt so tired, etc. Giving it up again is not somethng I look forward to! I told my sweet hubby that "we" should probably give it up.... it's not good for you, right?

He's such a dear! for the last week, he's been slowly changing over to decaf beans and I didn't realize it! Yes, I've been a little fuzzy, but I've been working long days, but also, sleeping deeply at night! hmmmm so....

YAY! I gave up caffeine!!

Mental and emotional debris

I like today's Daily Word..... here's part of it.

Let Go, Let God

I am a powerful expression of good. My life is fulfilling and fun.

As I turn within, I give my full attention to the love and light of God. In the silence,
I affirm: I let go and let God.

This affirmation is a powerful tool for clearing away mental and emotional debris. I allow myself to take time to be fully in the moment with this release so that it becomes a freeing experience for me.

And who doesn't have mental and emotional debris! I used to blame it on my Irish ancestors (and being Catholic)... but I now know that it's a universal issue. Sometimes it can really pile up... and I learned how to be a good brooder! time to let that disfunction go... and I like this:

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

God seems to give us the messages we need, as we need them. We just have to listen, or be willing to listen!

So, just for today, I am going to LET GO AND LET GOD be God in my life!.... one day at a time!
Blessings...

KNOWING FULLNESS part 2

Knowing FULLNESS!

What was I thinking yesterday when I wrote that! I was just inspired by some great words from Unity Daily Word.... it's not until today, that I look deeper into EXACTLY what KNOWING FULLNESS means.

Yesterday, it was about Unity, community, the support of others on the path, what ever that path might be. But today, as I read some email and comments in response, I really am taking a look at what it means to know fullness.

I experienced real hunger pains yesterday afternoon. I had worked 6 or 7 hours listing on ebay, I was tired (key), and I hadn't had a proper breakfast or lunch (another key). I was feeling sorry for myself having to work weekends (key).... Of course I'd feel hunger pains, I was running on empty....

hmmmm, funny how the Universe gives us messages on multiple levels. What if I had just taken the time to meditate on the FULLNESS of my life! How full I am with my fabulous family, amazing Granddaughter that I get to raise! We have a beautiful 2 acres in the Redwoods. We are healthy! We have a roof over our heads. I get to play with art. ...and there is just so much more!

My FULLNESS is all about GRATITUDE for the Gifts God's given.

hmmmm, I'll have to think about that next time I feel that panic hunger.... plus, I might try a little more BALANCE! in my life!

Thank you God/Goddess for the wake up!

Knowing fullness.

Did you know that Unity still publishes it's "Daily Word". For the last twenty years, I have referred to this fabulous daily affirmation when it's been time for soul searching or a need for inspiration. Back in the early 1980's, when I was an Activities Director, Program Director, for several Senior Citizen groups and nursing homes... I would read the Daily word and use it as a spring board for our discussions. During the years of leading Spiritually Oriented Singles and Conscious Connections groups and retreats (in the 90's), again, I could always count on the Daily Word for inspiration when my well seemingly went dry.

So why haven't I "kept in touch".... not a clue. Because, this morning, I felt I need to blog something... buy my well seems dry (get the word "seems"). I know it never is.... but I googled good old Unity Daily word and here's what today is about:

Daily Word — Saturday, June 28, 2008

United in Spirit

Together we know completeness. We are one in Spirit.

Though we are individuals living unique lives, we are united in a oneness of Spirit. We celebrate and dedicate ourselves to a lifetime of continued respect and consideration.

I value you and the qualities you bring to our commitment. In this union, I am inspired by the caring and giving that have attracted me to you. I am led to emulate these and mirror your goodness back to you.

Together we do not fill emptiness but know fullness. Our attraction is God-guided. Our actions are God-blessed.
Our intentions define a life we treasure.

We are aware of each other's presence-spiritual as well as physical-whether in the same room or miles apart.
Together we are stronger.
Together we are more: more expressive,
more giving, more loving.
I am blessed in loving you.

"What God has joined together, let no one separate."-Matthew 19:6

Well..... oh my gosh! This last week I've been exploring "FA" an AA style group for food addiction. Been to just one meeting.... but spent this last week soul searching. Then, yesterday I had coffee with a dear friend (have to keep it anonymous) and she really inspired me by sharing her story. Then we visited an AA Fellowship meeting, since she was traveling and wanted a dose of 12-step stuff. Well, all through the week... this theme of UNITY has been springing up! It's the connection that keeps us empowered... as in "together we are stronger".

And then there is my new Yahoo group affiliation with the Mandala Oasis.... it's a small group, and oh so spiritually intimate! And there is most deffinately a sense of UNITY within this fabulous group, thank you Cheryl for starting it.

So, to wrap it up....
Together we do not fill emptiness
but know fullness.

What more can be said!
Love and Blessings

After Glow....

I'm still feeling warm all over from the fabulous wedding and gathering of our relatives on Saturday. I love my brother-in-law with all my heart and I'm so glad that he's found such a wonderful woman. So I had to post at least one photo. While there are many fabulous photos this one, with Steve holding his arms in the air.... just touches my heart and brings tears to my eyes. It's been three and a half years since my sister passed, and Steve has been the best husband in the world... and now he's moved on. I just know that he and Linda will have a long, happy life. They both have had their share of dark days.... now it's time to feel joy and have FUN! God Bless Steve and Linda!
PS the darling girl to the right of Steve is my fabulous niece Lisa!

It's FRIDAY already!!

"Willing to Grow"

How the week has flown by. My brother-in-law Steve and his Bride Linda have been on my mind. Tonight is the rehearsal and tomorrow is the Wedding Day. and it's ALL PURE JOY! I am so happy for them, and I'm looking forward to the magic of the next 48 hours. I'm so thrilled to be part of the family!!

So, before I'm off, I wanted to post this week's mandalas... I started by making three tiny ATC (artist trading card) sized in water color. They are somewhat frustrating because the work is so small and hard to control. But it's easy... there's a wide variety of colors.... and it's the process that is meditative and draws me inward.... creating something like peace and calmness.

Then I branched out onto bigger drawing paper using sharpies... not at all happy with the first one,
but then the one I entitled "Willing to Grow" felt really good. My granddaughter really got into the metaphysical feelings.... and I really love gazing at it.

It's been really fun, grabbing a few minutes here and there to relax and draw mandalas....
For now, I have some ebay listing stuff to do, then packing for our overnighter for the rehearsal, dinner and wedding tomorrow. I'll post pictures!
Love and Blessings to all!

Remembering Dad

The first thing on my mind this morning was my father. Sadly, he passed over 10 years ago and I miss him madly. I've written just a few of my memories of dad.. and I've included a few scrapbook pages I'm putting together for my brother. (If you have any comments, or memories of my dad or your dad, I'd love to read them.)

Dad had so many names! Corkie, Gordon, Russ! He was called Corkie as a toddler when he put his pants on backwards. That name stuck with him most of his life! It was at his work at Ampex that he picked up the nickname Russ.

My dad was always the kid of guy who let my mom do most of the talking. I'd call and he'd say "Hi Honey, let me get your mother"... When my mom passed in 1988 my dad began to talk. And talk, and talk.... I loved hearing his stories about growing up in Wisconsin. Or about how he learned carpentry from watching builders construct houses in Millbrae where he would watch on his lunch hour. He was delivering milk for Borden's then. I remember wrestling on the living room floor, him carrying me and my little brother and sister on his shoulders.... he was really buffed from all the lifting and carrying milk.

Dad was born in Richland Center Wisconsin and was raised by his grandmother Mamie. I was lucky that he took us on yearly train trips to visit. Grandma Mamie canned everything, had a fabulous dark cellar full of jars, and she made home made donuts! After Grandma Mamie passed away, the trips were fewer. But dad had a wonderful time on his 50th class reunion. Aunt Janice had a huge billboard put up to say "Welcome Home Gordon"... he couldn't believe it was for him!


Dad enlisted (right out of high school) in the Navy during WWII and served in Midway, working on submarines. It was on leave in San Francisco that he met my mom at the USO dance. That's when their letter writing began. Dad and mom left letters and notes to each other their entire marriage. One of my most cherished belongings is the letter dad wrote to mom when she was in the hospital at my birth... writing about how much he loved his girls.


After the war, dad came home to my mom, they married withing the week and settled in San Francisco. On their honeymoon trip he took mom to Wisconsin.

Jobs were scarce so he took a job with the Muni (municipal transportation), then an opportunity opened at Bordens Milk. He moved us from the city to the "country", San Mateo, in the early 1950's and began his study of electronics by home course. On the side he opened a TV repair business. Then a huge opening for him came when Ampex hired him. Dad loved his job at Ampex and everyone loved him! Both my brother and I were fortunate to have also worked at Ampex where my dad's reputation for being a great guy was shared through the years.


They called my dad "Mr Perfect"... if something was broken, my dad could fix it.... the right way. He was a perfectionist about doing things "the right way" the first time. He had a wonderful shop, full of repaired tools. After his retirement he was known as the "garage sale" guy. He'd buy broken down tools or garden equipment (mowers, shredders, clippers, etc.)... and yearly he'd have a sale of his own. He had quite a following of guys who looked forward to his sales! I helped him at his last few sales... the men loved him and would hang around all day just to chat (or find out how to fix things!).

Dad either walked or rode his bike all around Menlo Park and his neighbors loved him. Oh... another funny thing. After my mom passed dad began collecting.... wood ducks, clocks, and of course there were hundreds of antique tools.

And whistling! I'll never forget the sound of his whistle to "White Christmas"... he could do that trill thing.... just amazing. They used to say he looked like Frank Sinatra back in the 1940's. And he sang like Bing Crosby. Dad loved his music.... the "real" music before rock and roll. And he loved to dance.... he was known for his jitterbug. Dad and Mom were always singing.... besides "You are my Sunshine", one of my favorites was "My little red rooster".
I love my rooster, my rooster loves me
My little red rooster, by the old oak tree
My little red rooster, goes cock a doodle doo
Ah doodle lee doodle lee, doodle lee, doodle lee dooo.

Funny little song... feels so happy, so simple. Little did I know it would stay with me for years and years!

Dad was a convert.... raised Baptist, inspired by my mom, he came to the Catholic faith while he was in the Navy. I still have the recommendation and character reference from his Baptist pastor that was required for conversion at that time. And I have his daily Missle. Dad was devout throughout his whole life. He even kept a rosary in his car. Every week after my mom passed, Dad would go to Holy Cross Cemetary and say a rosary at her grave. (He kept a lawn chair in the back of his car so he could be comfortable)... and he even became friends with other widowers who followed the same routine.

In his last hour, Dad had been in a deep sleep, the priest was called, and we all were around his bed saying the rosary.... from that deep sleep, he opened his eyes and looked far off, like he was looking at my mom... and recited the rosary with us. A short time later he was gone.

But really only gone in the physical form. I feel my dad's presence around me constantly. I talk to him, or rather he talks to me, usually reminding me to "do it the right way" and "don't wait till later, do it now"... AND HIS HUMOR!!

A few months after he died, my friend Toni spent the night and in the morning said she heard a rooster crowing about 2:00am! I told her she was nuts. Later, when we moved to this house and set up my computer room, now in the middle of the house, we heard a rooster crow at 2am!! Dad had a little clock he kept at his computer that would crow.... don't ask me why at 2am! Well, we reset the clock, and now (still, 10 years later) every morning at 9:00 am, a little electronic roosters crows "cock a doodle doo"... and I hear my dad "Ah doodle lee doodle lee doodle lee doooo".

I love you dad, and I miss you. Thank you so much for touching my life.

Morning Mandala

What a fabulous morning. I'm up early (of course) and have been playing around with a Cemetery Angel photo I took this spring at Holy Cross Cemetery. I love that place... not only for the rich childhood memories coming from an Irish Catholic family... there is just something so spiritually rich, alive and soulful.

My grandmother's grave is actually up on a hill, under a pine tree, looking West out over a valley of Cemetery Angels with the coastal mountains beyond. Sometimes in my meditation, I go there just to breathe and feel my connection to my ancestors. So.... I decided to play with my angel picture and fool around with Photoshop. I have so much to learn!! but it was fun just getting to this stage.


Then... to top off my morning, my new sister-in-law to be, Linda, wrote me a deeply touching email about her family, her sisters passing at such a young age. My sister passed three years ago and Linda is marrying my brother-in-law Steve, a week from today! She took out some time for deep reflections this morning and shared them with me. I feel so touched and honored by her sweetness.... right in the middle of all the wedding preparations! I get to say something during the ceremony... and her musings this morning have inspired me. I just feel so full of joy and happiness that Steve and Linda have found each other and that I have an opportunity to enjoy a rich relationship with them both. (Here's a picture of them.)


So, thank you God/Goddess, for this wonderful day....

Tidbits of Time

Interesting what can be done in just a few stolen minutes. I have to sneak time this morning after taking off for our short trip earlier this week. Lots of catch up. My goal is to have at least 100 items on ebay at all times. A Mighty Goal... but a necessary one! (Our medical just got raised $700 a month... !) "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill jumped off my bookshelf last night... so I'll see what inspirations can assist me in keeping up with the economic times...

but, I that's not what inspired me this morning. I've been loving the trunkie looking Redwood I posted yesterday and have been wanting to "mandala-ize" it. So, this is just my start. I'll keep working on it when I can snitch other snippets of time. But that's the JUICE that keeps me going!

Rested, restored and returning...

I am rested this morning, as we are about to return from our sweet little trip. Brit and her friends have joyfully exhausted themselves swimming and just being kids. I've read two "fluff" novels, created a few mandalas, plus some uplifting spiritual studies. Enjoying beginning "Wide Open Spaces" by Jim Palmer, who says... "if you think you've got God figured out, think again!" While rested, I am still grappling with the negativity that is trying to worm its pathetic way into my consciousness. (I will have to fill my tank at $4.35 a gallon!) Oh my gosh... there are so many horrid things that can pull me off my spiritual path... oh,... I started to list them here and realized that just in the calling out, the burden of the negativity is too much. I turn instead to the uplifting beauty of my morning readings: Divine Principle brings out all Harmony Truth has a healing effect, even when not fully understood Love is the only force that transforms Whew... that's a bit to chew on today, as I return home from our short trip away. I'm rested, yet I look at the appearances of today, I could let appearances pull me into the abyss. So I focus my thoughts and actions on Spiritual Principle... I will work, watch and pray for the Mind of Christ, to work rightly in God's vineyards as My Life is being lived from a new basis... all things are becoming new as I turn my thoughts toward the light. So I head home, to the majestic light filtering through God's Redwoods... joyful that I exist in conscious harmony with All. Thank you God/Goddess!!