Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sunday Aug 24, leaving the Valley

Whew... everyone is tired today... and just feeling lazy. But we have to pack up. The valley is soooo crowded, it's really starting to bug us. Our neighbors have had their music turned up high! I agree with Brit, that it's just too comercialized and too crowded for real peace and enjoyment. I've had to do allot of spiritual work to not let the noise bother me.... just letting go and letting God help me focus on just the beauty around me. So, we took off for higher points, driving up to above the tree line, the High Country of Lake Tenya, elevation around 8000-9000 feet! We're all tired and dirty, but relieved to get back to some quiet enjoyment of this vast country! Sadly, I'm really out of sorts because of feeling like a failure with my food plan. The ice chest is burried too deep in the car to bring out for lunch, so we're eating cereal and grapes for lunch. Wah, wah, wah.... I feel like such a crybaby. I didn't expect to have negative feelings or thoughts during this trip. Visiting Yosemite was to be a deeply profound spiritual experience. Not that it hasn't had those moments.... there has just been these occasions of yucky feelings and discouragement. I have stuck to my no sugar or flour though... even with the kids having their treats. I know on some levels and I am on the right path... I'm just not eating the required weighed and measured foods.... What's bothering me is that I am so loyal, once I decide to commit to something... and here I am, after my internal struggles, feeling like I've failed anyway. Guess this is what "feeling the feelings" is all about, rather than dumbing out or eatting my way though discontent. It feels kind of raw and very real. When I notice that I'm sliding into this kind of funk, I do some deep breathing and short mediation, calling for the God within me. While levels of this discontent is going on.... there are also divine moments of joy and bliss, when I breathe in the high mountain air and really allow myself to feel deeply, to my core, my connection to the All.

I look at granite rocks, HUGE GRANITE ROCKS, and on one level see them as solid and unmoving, yet on another level KNOW that they are in a state of constant change and movement.... and just a small part of God's Huge Universe! I drew a "zendoodle" mandala which I can't really post, but the writing that goes with it is here: "My heart is opening to deeper places within me. The womb of my life and soul as I travel deep inside me, I find the whole of the Universe that I am at One with." Thank you God for these blessings!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comments!
Sweet Blessings and Big Love to you